Unfortunately, I just felt weaker than ever. I spent a lot of time on my couch or in bed resting and not understanding why I wasn't feeling better yet. See, before with the MDS, I never felt that bad. The temps subsided for the most part, which was very good, but I was still weak and just couldn't muster up the energy to do much. It's hard as a single mom, especially now that we are homeschooling when I get sick like this. I started to get really down about that as well, but then my HS/CM mentor sent me an email filled with so much grace and encouragement! Yes, moms, we need to not only encourage each other in the raising of our kids, but it is so important to encourage our mom friends. You never know just how much the simplest bit of encouragement or kindness will lift a person out of a pit and give them the strength to keep on keeping on! My sweet CM Momma reminded me that we ARE accomplishing the most important things; J and I are spending ample amounts of time together, his work IS getting done - he is even ahead in some subjects, but the ones that he is behind in we will catch up and that is not the end of the world. This is our first year homeschooling, we're using a completely different method than either of us are used to and, no, it is not easy, but we are getting it done, learning a lot in the process and most importantly I'm getting to know J better than ever!
When thinking of my sweet HS/CM friend, I am reminded of this verse: "A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in pictures of silver." Proverbs 25:11
I would very much like to be a better encourager and am praying for the Lord to help me get my eyes off of myself and my situation and look more into others I come across, whether it be in the hospital, a waiting room, the lab office, the ER, my nurses, Dr's, etc. I think that it is high time that I get back to sharing the miracles He has already performed in my life and trials, in the valley's I've been in and how He has taken me to the mountain top again and again.
Just being from the home those first few days after a 7 day hospital stay there were so many things I was thankful for:
- To have so many family, friends, strangers, and churches from far away praying for me. So many that I don't even know. Without these prayers I doubt that I would be able to share such good news with you in the coming posts! James 5:16 "Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much."
- There were so many people that took time to visit me in the hospital. I am afraid to list them here for fear that I will miss one, but it was so sweet and kind for each and every one of you to take time out of your already busy lives and come sit with me. I love you all and I thank God for each of you! Phil 1:3 " I thank my God upon every remembrance of you"
- I'm so loved. My heavenly Father loves me so and I see it in the outpouring of his saints. Over and over again and it is something that never ceases to take my breathe away.
- I'm thankful for each and every night I get to pillow my head on my own bed and each and every morning I get to wake up in my own home! There's no place like home!!
- J doesn't open up much about how he feels about my health issues. He is a strong boy. I pray that in-spite of myself and what this chronic illness does to us and the instability that it brings our life that J will still feel stable, safe and the peace only Jesus can bring. I am always honest with him as to what is going on with me and what the Dr says. As we recently had a conversation regarding those very things I asked him how he felt and he said "I'm used to you being sick." That about broke my heart, that growing up with a mom that is chronically ill is his norm. This seems like a strange thing to count as gratitude, but I am thankful for the relationship we have. I am thankful that even though the last 3 years have been so rough, I have seen character traits develop in him that I don't know would have surfaced so soon otherwise, if at all. He has compassion, patience and understanding that exceeds that in adults I know. I pray that those traits in him continue to develop and that many more will show through. As hard as it is to go through the fire, I can see with my own eyes where it has refined him for good. The best part, is that he hasn't lost his smile or his need to constantly joke around. He is a very happy, silly and funny boy. I am so grateful that part of him will always be! Prov 17:22a "A merry heart doeth good like a medicine"